Happiness...
So, I'm sitting here, drinking some of my own 2.5 year old aged hard apple cider (no...I'm not drunk, and I just poured the glass), listening to some soft "5 star" personally ranked music on my PC, my two boys are helping each other play a video game (actually HELPING, not fighting and saying, "Thank you Riley!" and "Do you see any more bad guys? No. Thanks!"), Sarah is humming and packing and getting presents ready for our trip to see her folks and sister and her family in our brand new GMC Yukon (thank you RIMM and AAPL), and I'm just plain happy. And I realize I've had a very happy life...not just the last 10 years, which have been the happiest, all with Sarah and now the boys, but a VERY HAPPY life.

I know money doesn't MAKE happiness, but we have been very fortunate not to want too much for that (everyone can always use more, but we have had everything we ever needed, thank you mom, dad, and Micron). It is funny how "relative" money is. We write checks and transfer money, buy vehicles worth tens of thousands, and pay mortgages on hundreds of thousands, but until you actually HOLD $5000 in your hands in $50 or $100 bills, it is hard to put it into perspective. I can't even imagine what some of the CEO's of companies do with it all...maybe it all desensitizes you and even makes you more unhappy (grin...at least I can pretend that is the case). They throw around a couple million dollars for BONUS. And corporations throw around a BILLION dollar type figures every quarter (Exxon and Intel routinely post $2-10 BILLION dollar quarterly PROFITS...wow).

I know environment doesn't MAKE you happy, but my environment hasn't been fraught with worry about being shot in the streets by roving bands of militants or government hit squads or my children taken from me (thank you to every single man and woman that has given their lives and a PART of their lives to secure that freedom for me and my children). I know success doesn't MAKE happiness, but we've been blessed with more successes than I can count (most of all, our two boys...thank you Sarah). I also realize that many of you with less may beg to differ on that (it is easy for me to say all of this when I have it). To that I won't argue. I don't think I've endured any significant measure of hardship or sacrifice, compared to many. Each of us probably has to answer that for himself and decide if they have a legitimate complaint in their lot in life. I can't answer that for you. I know at least ONE person that was handed a most undeserved suffering and blame without complaint. Volunteered for it, in fact. To stand in all of our places for ALL of our wrongs, including the imputed original sin that each and every one of us bears, regardless of how "perfect" we may be...

Most of all, I think I know that happiness, at least MY happiness, is a mental attitude and a personal and private relationship with God enabled through His son, Jesus Christ. A basis on something unfaltering and unchanging and not flawed by anything of THIS world, because it is not based on ANYTHING of this world or any one or material possessions (granted, I find myself routinely caught up in all of that too, and it takes sanity checks and rebound to stabilize, rationalize and move forward)... Thank You Col. R.B. Thieme for teaching me all of this. And, appropriately enough, at this time of season, thank you Jesus Christ, for your wonderful sacrifice that you made on the Cross so many years ago, to provide a path for EVERY person to experience your exceeding and eternal grace and happiness.

There are few things that touch that deep emotional response in me that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up, or causes goose bumps and a tingle to run up and down your spine. Watching Braveheart in my kilt standing on my couch while Mel Gibson yells "Freeeeeeedom" (grin...I'm kidding...mostly). Hearing Celine Dion sing "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" (I know...I'm gay and I listen to Cold Play). Actually HEARING, cognitively, the words in a perfectly produced Shakespeare play with a great red wine (again...gay...I know). Catching the perfect surf wave and riding it in a kayak and then doing a combat roll out. Watching the rain fall from boiling dark clouds in Stanley, ID. Jumping in a 12 foot deep canal filled with drifted snow. Stepping off the plane in Marsh Harbor, Bahamas. Perfectly composed perl script (gay and nerdy). Hitting the perfect set of whoops on my dirt bike and riding as hard and fast as I can, all by myself at Black's Creek until I can't see straight anymore but grinning like a school boy, stopping at the top of the peak and looking at Devil's Hole and the South Fork of the Boise River...wow. Remembering hunting pheasants and ground squirls with my black lab when I was 12, Daffy. My Mom and Dad. Riding Moab Rim on a mountain bike at sunset. Perfectly lighting a computer rendered Lego scene (ultimate nerd, probably not gay...but definatly lucky-to-ever-kiss-a-girl nerdy). Seeing my boys run to me when I come home every day. Knowing that I live in a free country and the sacrifice others have made to guarantee that. Most of all, hearing my beautiful wife tell me she loves me; my best friend. All of these are, responses. Wonderful, but not the BASIS or source.

I hope that all of you can find this happiness and the sanctuary that salvation provides from what is our life in Satan's world. With the Hope that has been granted to every person, unconditionally for them to accept, this world CAN be a most wonderful and beautiful place. I hope to see you all in the eternal after life and compare stories. I'm truly shamed that this is not a bigger part of my daily life.


- posted by Jeff @ 6:44 PM | 2 comments